Aprés

‘HERE IS YOUR WINNER – EMM JAY FLAIR!’

It would have been tempting to let this particular loss eat at me, and to think that Joey Garcia's words would echo in my ears for months to come. It had been a deeply personal match – one of the most personal I’d ever had. I had given it everything I had and still came up short.

But as I stood there in the ring, holding MJ’s arm up in the air… I couldn’t really be anything more than ‘a little sad I lost.’

I had said that my aim was to leave the ring with no regrets… and I had none. No move that I wish I’d thought of using, no blunder that MJ could capitalize on… she just outwrestled me and that was that. She’d shown the grit that had made her CWF’s youngest World Champion… and that, after tonight, I had no doubt would make her CWFs current World Champion in very short order.

After all, I thought, emerging from the shower in my locker room and seeing the Ripper holding aloft the World Title, it’s not like she has much in her way.

A little harsh, perhaps… but I had beaten Ripper not two weeks previously, and MJ just beat me, so by the transitive property…

Yes, Cali, because the transitive property so frequently applies in wrestling.

Oh, you know what I mean.

The shower had felt good. It wasn’t the most brutal match I’d ever fought – god knows I’d taken my licks in the Higher, Wire, Fire match last time – but I didn’t recall ever feeling this tired. It probably came again to just the raw emotional intensity. The stakes had been high in Higher, Wire, Fire... but it wasn’t the climax of an eight-year friendship-cum-rivalry.

… better not use that phrasing around Eris.

Either way, Amelia had declared a two-week break in CWF’s schedule, and I was profoundly grateful for it. Not least because I knew that Dan was going into a particularly intensive stretch over in HVW, and a break meant that he and I could actually spend some time together on the road, when his manager Sam wasn’t booking him around the clock.

Dan was waiting for me when I emerged from the locker room – I gathered that Eris had decided to ‘give us some privacy’, which I knew full well meant ‘scurrying off to have a threesome with those Cali and MJ cosplayers from the party.’ But regardless, the privacy was nice. Not that Dan and I were up to any sort of intimacy – if nothing else, I was far too sore. He understood and was fully accepting of it – though he couldn’t resist making a quip about MJ already giving me a thorough pounding. I gave him a light punch in the arm, and even that hurt a little.

Yeah… I think a stop in at the nearest thermal bath once we were home was in order. A nice long soak, a sauna, and…

… what was next for me?

I had put so much of my thought into my match with MJ, spent so much time focusing on training for it, that I really hadn’t given much thought as to what came next. There wasn’t really anyone who I’d interacted with much – well, I mean, I’d had a few matches with Holmes, but if he was half as tired of me as I was of him…

For a brief moment I had entertained the notion of going after the World Championship… but that had been contingent on my defeating MJ at WrestleFest. It was true that I had beaten the Ripper, now the World Champion, while he was still the number one contender, which might have been enough… but really, it didn’t feel right, coming off this loss and going on to contend for the title. MJ was the natural contender; perhaps once she curbstomped Ripper I could convince her to give me a rematch.

One more “one more time”?

Well. The next match card would come, and I’d figure it out from there.

---

 

‘You’ve got to be kidding me,’ I said through a mouthful of Andouille sausage and hash browned potatoes.

‘What?’ said MJ, sitting across the table and taking a sip from her mimosa.

Wordlessly I showed her the text with the card for the week.

‘Welp,’ she said, ‘That's... certainly a match. Not to toot my own horn, but seems like a bit of a downgrade.’

I laughed, though there was little mirth in it. ‘I’ll say. Match of my career to “third wheel in a grudge match between BeachKrew and The Regulators.” Doesn’t exactly scream “upward trajectory,” does it?’

MJ chuckled. ‘Maybe they want you booked to sell some tickets, but wanna give you a break after we tore it down?’

I shook my head. ‘I mean… Billy Anderson was right there.’ That was unnecessarily mean.

‘Well, nothin’ to do but to do,’ said MJ, quoting her famous aunt, returning to her French toast.

A few days after the match, I had gotten a text from MJ, urging me to keep in touch this time, and not wait another eight years. I had happily replied in the affirmative, and was then pleasantly surprised to receive an invitation to Savannah to visit her and Kevin; I had been reluctant to part with Dan, but Sam had him dashing around so much that we barely saw each other anyway. I'd be able to join him for Crown of Legends, which was where my support really mattered anyway.

And so now, I was sitting across the table from the woman with whom I had, not a week previously, had one of the most brutal fights of my career, having a lovely brunch and sipping mimosas at her fiance’s restaurant.

… wrestling is weird sometimes.

‘Maybe Amelia’s trying to imply that we should get into the tag team scene?’ I said. ‘I mean, we did beat BeachKrew clean. We teamed up, we’d be unstoppable.’

MJ chuckled. I continued. ‘Of course… that would mean that CWF would be deprived of its natural number one contender.’

MJ looked at me. ‘Sure.’

I scrutinized for a second. ‘Maybe she wants me and Eris to reform the Bright Young Things? I mean, it’s been years since we teamed up, and Eris hasn’t been in a match since… or maybe me and Mark?’

MJ tilted her head at me. ‘Well now… those would also deprive CWF of its natural number one contender.’

I looked at her, nonplussed. ‘Well, no, you’d still be -’

‘Girl,’ she said. ‘Who are you talking about?’

‘Who are you talking about?’ I asked. ‘It’s obviously you, you won our match, you should be -’

‘I have school, babe,’ she interrupted. ‘Classes are my priority. Seriously - if there’s gonna be someone to take down the Ripper it’s obviously gotta be you.’

‘… not sure I follow.’

She couldn’t quite resist rolling her eyes. ‘Aight. Lemme spell it out for ya. You beat Ripper while he was number one contender. He became the World Champion. Ergo…’

‘Ergo, the woman who beat me clean at WrestleFest ought to be the one who goes after him!’ I exclaimed.

‘Babydoll,’ she said, ‘I came back for Golden Intentions to see if I still had it. I stuck around for one match. I don't have the fire left right now to tape my firsts twenty two times a month anymore. I've got a life here, and I love my life here.’ She reached across the table and squeezed my hand. ‘I’m damn glad I came back and we had our match – it paid off a long-time debt – but that’s all I was gonna do.’

‘… what would you have done if I beat you?’

She took a sip from her mimosa. ‘Gone back to school. I told ya, this isn't where my life is headed anymore. But you? You still have that competitive edge that I don't. The fight, that's what you live for.’

‘Well…’ I said, ‘… that, and whatever spice blend Kevin put into this omelette. Seriously, you’re sure he won’t give it up?’

‘A magician never reveals his secret,’ chuckled MJ.

---

After a detour to Texas, in which I was deeply gratified to see Dan beat Ripper clean in the middle of the HVW ring, then disappointed to see him lose the title to Danielle Page under circumstances that I didn’t fully understand, it was off on CWF’s Big Tour. Dan, unfortunately, wouldn’t be able to come with me. Mark, meanwhile, being now based in England, said that he’d try to join where he could; but when I asked him what else he was doing he replied only with “Order business.” I rolled my eyes. I really didn’t understand how he could look at the future that the Order and the Institute wanted to bring about and want anything to do with either organization. Still. Questions for later.

I arrived at the airport with time to spare, and after a quick stop into the Delta lounge – where I could see both a significant number of my fellow CWF fighters and a significant number of fans who apparently cared enough to book flights at the same time as ours – it was onto the plane.

CWF hadn’t sprung for a first-class ticket for me this time; not surprising, since they became exorbitantly expensive when travelling internationally.

No doubt the World Champion gets to fly first class, came an intrusive thought.

You realize I was the World Champion, right?

You realize that I’m you, right?

… shut up.

But I was somewhat surprised as I took my still-fairly-nice business class seat to see Eris in the seat next to me.

‘What are you doing here?’ I asked, realizing that the question was somewhat rude.

‘Going with you on the tour,’ they replied, ‘since your husband can’t join you.’ The middle-aged businessman across the aisle leered at us. I glowered back, then returned my attention to Eris.

‘I mean, not that I’m not happy to have you along, but… why?’

‘You’re going to Amsterdam,’ they said slowly, with the tone of someone trying to explain to an impatient five-year-old why they shouldn’t reach into the toaster while it was still on.

‘Oh. Right,’ I said.

‘Plus,’ they said, ‘I always go with you, you know that.’

‘Yeah, but we haven’t done an international tour since the last go-around, and back then CWF was paying for your tickets,’ I said.

‘And?’

‘… you hacked their employee records and listed yourself as active.’

‘Only in payroll!’

‘Wait, so you’re collecting a paycheck despite not having wrestled a match in eight years?’

‘I provide a great deal of entertainment to the CWF fans!’ they exclaimed.

‘… well, I can’t deny that…’

‘There you go, then,’ they said, settling back. I made myself comfortable, and after a few minutes they spoke again. ‘So. Moor and Hansen,’ they said.

‘Yep.’

‘Moor and Hansen… Hansen and Moor… sounds like an accounting firm, doesn’t it?’

I chuckled.

‘You got a plan?’ asked Eris.

‘You know…’ I said after a moment of thought. ‘I don’t. I think most of my tactical bandwidth got used up preparing for MJ. I mean, I’ve fought Moor before, but that was in a tag match. Never gone one on one with the guy. Hansen, I’ve never even gone up against. I mean, god knows I’ve seen him fight often enough, but…’

‘You don’t know someone until you fight them,’ said Eris in a weird voice.

‘Was that Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon?’

They looked embarrassed. ‘The Matrix Reloaded.’

We sat in silence for a moment. I spoke. ‘Wow. I feel absolutely nothing going into this match.’ Eris looked at me. ‘I mean… maybe I just used up all my juice fighting MJ, but I think about fighting these guys, and… nothing.’

‘You still think you can win?’

‘Sure,’ I said, taking a sip of ginger ale, ‘but… I don’t feel the fire, y’know?’

Eris nodded. ‘Sure. Eight-year build, climax of the rivals-to-lovers arc…’

‘Not lovers,’ I said. I had learned to my dismay that Eris took silence as agreement.

Eris chuckled, realizing that I was wise to their tricks. ‘Alright, fine… but were you really expecting that level of intensity for Adam Moor and Wade Hensen?’

‘Wade Moor and Adam Hensen,’ I said, amused.

‘Alright,’ they said. ‘Let’s pretend that… gimme a second…’ They reached for a tablet and pulled up an image of Wade Moor, holding the tablet in front of their head. In an exaggerated Southern accent, they said ‘Now whaddaya have ta say ta ME?!’

I chuckled. But I decided to engage with the exercise. ‘Alright, Wade… look, man, I think it’s possible that the only number of damns smaller than the number of damns I give about you is the number of damns you give about me. Maybe you want to avenge your tag loss; maybe you’re happy to blame Dangerous Dan and move on. Maybe you’ve spent so much time wasting away again in Margaritaville, searching for your lost shaker of salt, that you don’t even remember our match. Nothing would surprise me at this point.

Either way, Florida Man… we’re stuck with each other for this week. And who knows? Maybe it’ll be good to get some shit out of my system beating on someone I really don’t give a damn about.’ I toasted with some ginger ale. ‘Here’s to ya. Let’s do this.’

Eris did some rapid typing and produced a picture of Adam Hensen. ‘And me?’

‘Wait, why aren’t you doing the ridiculous Southern accent for the cowboy?’

‘I don’t want it to get stale!’

I sighed. ‘Adam… look, I’ve really got nothing against you. You seem a decent sort. Heck, I’d be lying if I said that I didn’t think the Regulators were pretty squarely a force for good in HVW – Lex taking my husband’s championship notwithstanding!

But you and I both know who you’re more interested in fighting – heh, Moor interested in fighting – and it’s the good old Beach Boy.  And I’m more interested in fighting…’

I stopped. Eris scrutinized, lowering the tablet. ‘What?’

‘… I don’t know who I would rather have fought this week.’

Eris squeezed my hand sympathetically. ‘Look, anyone was gonna be a step down after MJ.’

‘Yeah, but…’ I trailed off. ‘I look around the roster and I don’t know anyone anymore. Not the way I used to. I mean, I’m glad we have new blood, but…’

‘Nothing to do but to do,’ said Eris. I looked askance at them. Had they known Aunt Ivy’s catchphrase? Regardless, they continued. ‘Yeah. Ain’t neither of these dumbasses MJ Flair. Ain’t neither of them Jace Valentine. Ain’t neither of them Elisha or Amber Ryan or Duce Jones. But you?’ They looked at me. ‘You’re Caledonia motherfucking Highlander. You’re the woman who beat our esteemed World Champion barely a month ago. You’re the woman who won the Infernalia tournament. And you’re the woman who won fourteen consecutive matches while waging a solo campaign against the might of the Institute and the Order. Even when it’s hard to go on, even when everything seems like there’s no point, even when in your heart of hearts, you’d rather not, you do.’

… maybe I do.